B R E A T H E: Not so good day...

BREATHE... a journal

This blog is a preview for my memoirs. Sort of a journal. I like to post some of my ideas and inspirations here.

The journal has about 145 pages written so far and will also feature some of my artwork and pictures. Not a book. Not a comic book. CHAOTIC, like me.

As you can see, I am not writing in a typical format. The pages might look like poems but it's simply because I like things short and simple. Clean.

If you have ever experienced depression, you know that reading a book with pages filled with words is discouraging and you quickly lose interest...

BREATHE focuses on what I have learned and experienced so far, after the loss of my dad and the depression that followed.

I started writing to vent, but it has led me to knowing myself a bit better-- my limits, my dreams.

-Janie

Friday, May 30, 2008

I know I'm a bum...

I rarely post on any of my blogs.

It's just that I'm trying and working so hard on getting a normal life back!

It may seem trivial to any other person,

but each and every day for me is a triumph in itself.

...

Is it normal that it still sometimes takes all my will and energy just to get out of bed?

I don't feel like painting.

I can't get myself to read a book.

Nothing motivates me at the moment and I just keep getting angrier at myself.

All I can think is:

"How can you allow yourself to be so lazy?

What would you do if you were working right now?

Don't you think it's time you started again?"

And I find myself disappointed again...

Frustrated and discouraged.

It's a daily struggle.

BREATHE... a journal